Summer? What Summer?

Okay, so Summer in Chicago wasn’t an actual event this year, it appears. Not that I’m complaining, because I really dislike having to live through hot, humid weather [of which we did have a few days, gotta admit.]

What I also noticed was that I didn’t manage to get more posts up on my poor neglected blog, and amazingly we are now on the verge of High Holy Days yet again. Which, of course, means more menus and food ideas and such. Whee!

Food and eating has been a challenge for me lately. I realized the other day that over this Summer I had gained a new apathy towards the menu making/food shopping at home[in addition to gaining weight, much to my frustration vis a vis Weight Watchers.] I also had been craving bread and no amount of GF subsitutes seemed to work until I tried out Ener-G’s tapioca rolls.  Warmed up, they kept the craving at bay without too much added calories. Still, this carb-filled baked-goods desire is a little maddening, and not fully gone.

I went completely ballistic yesterday at the parents’ house yesterday. I was already very tired and hadn’t been too ‘together’ with my eating –and certainly not with my water consumption–throughout the day. Being bombarded by my extended family for an impromptu cook-out at my parents’ house down the block from me was probably not the best thing for my nerves. My family hardly ever gets to together, and when it does, it’s a kind of chaos. That being said, I made a quick salad of lettuce, tomato and carrots and headed over.

Hamburgers and hot dogs were on the menu, so I figured I’d eat a couple of  burger patties [no buns, of course; they're too high in points and not what I wanted], corn on the cob, and some salad and I’d be set. I planned for it, actually. So I was HUNGRY when I got there. Again, not great for social interaction. Everyone was getting ready to sit down to eat. I look over at my youngest brother, B. [the one with Down's Syndrome, and who was recently dianosed with celiac disease.] and realize he’s waiting to chow down on bread. I tell everyone within hearing distance to hold off on that while I zip back to my house for some emergency Pesach rolls–you remember, those really expensive ones I mentioned a few posts back. I run down the block and get back in record time to discover that my celiac bro is munching away on a hot dog, bun and all. Which my mother gave him. Which no-one even considered not providing him. My middle brother, D. when I handed him the freshly microwaved hamburger bun to give to B., for some mysterious reason, promptly plopped it onto the tablecloth [already festooned with gluten-filled crumbs.] Which was when I lost my appetite and emotional control entirely and walked out in tears.

Well, my mother called and begged me to return, saying over and over again that the family wanted me to be there, that they and most of all she loved me, and wouldn’t I just come back to be there for the surprise birthday celebration for one of my nieces. Oh, sure, no prob, of course, after all, family’s family, right? and I wouldn’t want to spoil it for anyone with my crazy eating limits or my pouty face. Right?

With some reservation, I gathered a deep breath, wiped off my face and walked back. I took along the Ener-G pound cake that I had bought online and a tub of whipped topping. [The topping had spoiled and I had to throw it out; few things are more disgusting than curdled whipped topping, I gotta tell ya!] I arrived in time to set down a slice of my cake in front of B., who was digging into the pasta salad, gluten-filled and freely accessed. And of course, he didn’t like the cake I provided, since everyone else was inhaling the pretty frosted poison that was the birthday cake. I got out of there as soon as I could…without a meal, since they had consumed everything during my little time-out.

When I got home, I made myself two fried eggs on tapioca bread toast and fell asleep before I could have some salad or water.

Epic fail of a food adventure, the whole get-together.

I feel like my family thinks this is all some kind of crazy dieting thing, my whole struggle with eating gluten-free, as if it’s some kind of joke. My mother hasn’t changed anything foodwise in her house since B’s diagnosis, and it’s always, “It’s too difficult, he eats it in school or outside the house anyway, he doesn’t understand,” blah blah blah. I’m worrying about my own increased possibilities of colon cancer, diabetes and other diseases, and thinking about what B. could experience down the line, possibly even after my parents can’t care for him any more, and she can’t be bothered to keep him healthy!

Now that I’ve rehashed that, I feel that some of my cravings have very little to do with food lately. I’ve just been feeling sick again, and I’m worried that other health issues are to blame.  I have several baby nieces and nephews that of course have grown quite a bit since I last saw them and I’m feeling old and left out. [My oldest is graduating high school this year, my middle one is graduating 8th grade and my youngest will be in junior high next year.] I live down the block from my parents and I see them less than my other siblings do. I’m hungry for acceptance. I’m hungry for healthy relationships.

…and food won’t feed that craving. Never has and never will. Trust me, I tried it.

Living in an artificial world.

Every once and a while the fact that a vast majority of the American population gives very little thought to their food pops up and smacks me full in the brain. It amazes me to realize that without my food restrictions [ie. kosher, gluten-free, 'lower points', and affordable], I literally would not have to touch a stove again, that I could go anywhere in the USA and not fret that there will be a meal somewhere. Adding to that amazement is that more people live that reality than don’t live it.

I had a sort of clash of ideals with food in childhood. Fresh fruits and vegetables were always around; I knew what tofu and alfalfa sprouts were; sugar cereals were on par with candy and just as forbidden. I ate made-from-scratch oatmeal and not-from-a-mix pancakes [with real maple syrup] for breakfast, natural PB & honey sandwiches on whole wheat bread for lunch and loved to snack on raw green beans when I was a kid.  One of my favorite treats was fresh french bread slathered with real butter; I could go through the stick and the loaf  [This was such a rare thing to have that I probably was just trying to grab as much as I could; that was the only white bread I remember in my house as a young kid, other than the once-a-week Shabbos challah.] I remember being excited when strawberries showed up at the grocery store and how that tart-sweet taste exploded in your mouth and just announced summer had arrived. ‘Real food’ is what my mom called it.

At the same time, there was the other stuff, mostly from friends’ houses or [shocking!] from school: chocolate bars, fish sticks, waffles, pudding, soft drinks, macaroni and cheese made from a neon-orange powder packet in a box, Tang, Cool-Aid, plastic packages of bologna, smushy snow-white bread, cookies on plastic trays, marshmallows, ice cream…Freezer food, space-age wonder ‘food’–It was endless and kitchy and I loved the coolness of it, the sheer availablity of it. I remember eating some gooey bakery confection at a friend’s house, something loaded with artificial chemical-laced ‘whipped topping’ and gloppy ‘fruit filling’ and spongy cake-stuff, and asking innocently if I could have a second piece. I had never had anything like it before and wow, the sensations overwhelmed me with a feeling I’ve only heard from drug addicts describing their first high.  I didn’t understand why my friends didn’t just gobble up all that stuff from their cabinets, all that bounty of modern food production. (Much later,  I learned that the eating part of that stuff was wonderful, sensual even…but I didn’t feel satisfied afterward. If anything, I still felt hungry, or sick to my stomach.)

Looking in my pantry and my freezer, I’ve come to the conclusion that I still live [and eat] with a kind of schizophernia. My son’s favorite lunchbox snacks are cheese crackers…and kefir. My middle daughter likes Fluffernutter sandwiches…and begs me to cut up yellow bell peppers  for her ‘because they’re so yummy!’. My oldest will throw together a salad with a quick oil-and-vinegar dressing, make a pot of basmati rice and a vegetable omlet for lunch to feed herself and want to get some soft-serve ice cream. They argue whether their favorite meal is homemade macaroni and cheese with broccoli, or steak and boiled new potatoes & peas, and then bake cookies and cakes from mixes.  It’s a weird dicotomy.

There are some products I’m really happy to have. I like the fact that I can eat Chex cereal again [rice, corn and a bunch of their flavors.] I love being able to grab a can of Eden rice and beans from the shelf for a quick meal. A box of Van’s wheat-free waffles might sit in my freezer for months, but it’s a nice option for breakfast occasionally. Larabars and Stonyfield yogurts and Glutino breads are really convenient. I ordered Dr. Lucy cookies and Mr. Krispers nacho crackers because I wanted the ‘junk food’ fix. I still drink caffeine-free diet Coke once and a while. I use the gluten free mixes from Whole Foods for cookies and brownies when I want a ‘homemade’ baked goods treat. Is that junk food? Probably. So what?

Those aren’t my daily things, those aren’t staples. I still stock my fridge with fresh fruits and veggies, I eat eggs and milk and more rarely cheese and fresh fish and meat. I eat tofu and whole grains. I used to eat a lot of  ‘vegetarian meat alternatives’, but anymore–most of them contain gluten. But y’know, I found a company in Canada who makes soy burgers– Sol Cuisine. They’re kosher, gluten-free and low calorie. And I’m looking forward to getting some of them, provided I can afford them.

I’ve made a conscious effort to avoid buying most ‘junk foods’.  I was part of a survey that asked how much ‘convenience food’ I use on a regular basis, and I had to ask them, “Do you mean, like frozen vegetables? Canned beans?” I very rarely buy things like waffles, frozen pizza, salad dressings or prepackaged cookies. I like to think that my family and I are ‘food savvy’. But the thought occured to me the other day that I wouldn’t know how to grow my own food if I had to, that I still rely on a lot of things from the store to provide me and my family. I realize, too, just how mixed a blessing it is to live with abundance. That’s where my real challenges lie; in learning to moderate, to feed myself enough.

Spring has sprung..

…but you wouldn’t know it looking at Chicago’s weather!

Passover has come and gone, and it was a pretty good holiday for me. Being gluten free has really changed my eating in general, but Pesach is a whole new world. Used to be I didn’t think I could make a Passover without matza meal, but oh how much I have learned!

The meals were great and full of yummy fresh fruit and veggies–my staples! I also experimented with making potato-starch crepes and GF kishka with a great deal of success. Yum!

I wowed my mom with my Instant Gratification chocolate cake [it's a flourless chocolate cake that whips up in minutes.] Her birthday is second seder, so she requests my cake every year. I also assembled an amazing Strawberry Creme Trifle–I can’t say I ‘made’ it, since it was a GF sponge cake from Shabtai Bakery, cubed and layered with KFP parve whipped topping and sliced strawberries.  “It’s so good; it doesn’t taste like Pesach!” was the verdict. Nice stuff.

It amazes me what premade gluten free passover goodies can be found on the market now. I’m not a huge fan of pre-packaged goods, but I find some things hard to resist. Dr. Praegers’ potato-crusted fish is one; every once and a while I want some breaded fish that I don’t have to make myself and I grab those. Spring Valley chicken strips and nuggets were available on sale here after the holiday and I bought a bag of each for those moments, too. GF blintzes were a nice thing to add. [Not many, alas-we emptied the bank before Passover on groceries, so stocking up afterward wasn't possible this year.] I nabbed my soup mandel and GF chow mein noodles, so yay, got that for the year, too. I found some amazing rolls–hamburger and hot dogs rolls from Israel–and saved those in the freezer, although they’re high in calories and price. Worth it for me.

The weather is crazy cold here, still. I’d really love to put in a garden this year, but we’ll see. If not, I console myself with the fact that the farmer’s markets will be open soon.

I think I’m still hibernating…

I have a whole list of blogs I try to read at least every weekday. Most of them are about food, of course, but hey, that’s my interest.I’ve noticed that the ones I’m most interested in are the ones that update their posts with regularity. Unfortunately, my blogs usually start out with the best intentions–I want to have lots of posts and then time just seems to slip away from me.

I had two posts planned recently: one about Tu b’Shevat, and one showcasing a gluten free plum cake I had whipped up for Shabbat using a GF mix.  I even demanded my poor take pictures of the food to put up here, much to her protest. Has she uploaded them? No. Have I written the posts? No. And now it’s Adar, and I’m thinking about Purim things…*sigh* I’ll try to catch up.  Also, I think I need my own digital camera.

More soon. Really. I mean it.

A few more gluten-free experiments

Well, Chanuka has come and gone for this year, and I even managed to get some gluten free cooking done. This was my first year eating gluten-free, so I’m still playing around with adapting my recipes to fit all my criteria: kosher, gluten-free, perferably healthy enough to fit in with Weight Watchers eating, and above all SIMPLE.

Ok, so the low fat idea didn’t really fit [we are celebrating using OIL, after all! ] but I was really happy with how the latkas came out. I will be the first to tell you how lazy I am in the ktichen for a lot of things, and yeah, I don’t like to spend a lot of effort to get things done, especially if it takes away from the time I get to enjoy eating and admiring the food itself. So, I ‘cheated’.

I used refrigerated hash browns for the latkas. And pancake mix for the sufganiot. And nobody cared! It was quick, it was easy, and I got to enjoy the lights for once.

Now, I’ve been having donut cravings for months. Frying donuts is not something I’m willing to do any ol’ time, so I figure it’s a once-a-year treat. I found a great recipe using pancake mix, so I grabbed a box of Whole Foods 365 Gluten Free Pancake Mix and went to town. Yummy! Bet I could bake ‘em, too…which would make them even easier…and…yeah, just once a year, folks. I do need to limit that kind of indulgence, even if they were incredibly easy to make.

Easy Gluten-Free Donut Holes [Doughnuts]

1 cup boiling water
1 stick vegan spread
1 box 365 Gluten-Free Pancake Mix
4 eggs
Vegetable oil
jam, frosting, powdered sugar and/or cinnamon

Combine boiling water and spread until spread melts. Add pancake mix, stirring until the mixture forms a ball and pulls away from the sides of the pan. With an electric mixer, beat in eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition.

Heat 2–3 inches of oil in a large skillet until very hot. Drop the batter into the heated oil by small rounded teaspoonfuls, a few at a time. Fry until golden brown, turning them to brown evenly. Drain on paper towels. Pierce a small hole in each doughnut, and, with a pastry bag fitted with a small tip, fill with jam or frosting. Dust with confectioner’s sugar. Or, roll in cinnamon sugar.

Post Thanksgiving/Pre-Hanukkah

My Weight Watcher leader, Jack, knows my foodie tendencies and gave me the challenge of coming up with Core menu ideas for Thanksgiving Dinner. Ha, score! I came up with three, count ‘em, THREE menues that have less than ten points each per serving, and are gluten-free & Core-friendly. I know they worked, too: I lost three pounds over the long weekend. So cool! [I'll get those menu ideas up soon; I'm trying to put all that stuff behind links so this blog doesn't turn into a giant menu listing.]

I’ve been musing on what I call my big three food limitations: kosher, gluten free and Weight-Watchers [Core] friendly. In some ways, it’s very helpful in defining my food choices: I don’t eat out much, I limit the baked goods more than ever, I focus more on veggies, fruit, simple basic foods; things that are making me feel better and enjoy my food again. That’s not to say I don’t feel a small pang of envy when I read about some of the gluten-free restaurants and products that others enjoy–which aren’t kosher, so I won’t be enjoying them. Or that I wish that the latest kosher thing on the market was gluten free [yay for new Passover items!]. Or that I get tired of explaining to people that I’m not a ‘passing-fad diet’; I *eat* a certain way, always, for my health.  I do. But the truth is, I’m finally learning that food is just that, food. Nourishment. Something to enjoy as part of my existance. Might sound fairly obvious to some folks; big, long shift in thought process for me.

Menu for the End of Sukkot 2008, etc.

I was in a mood when I put this menu together last week, as you can tell by my little comments. I’ve noticed something, too. Even though I sketch out a weekly menu, I quite often will change it depending on my mood or what’s available. So, even though I might have something written down here, that’s not always what we wind up eating. At least now that the Autumn holidays are over, I can get back to more simple basic menus. It’s much easier on the budget.

WEEKLY MENU

10/19/08-10/25/08

SUN:

B: eggs. And…toast. Fruit, maybe.

L: smoothie. If I have time.

D: Fish. Corn. Salad. Maybe fries—maybe.

S: can’t get enough of that popcorn!

MON: Erev Yom Tov

B: cereal, milk, fruit.

L: salad. Salad would be nice.

D: KIDDUSH/HAMOTZI. Shnitzels, cabbage & onion, noodles, carrots, applesauce, pickles. Plum kuchen.

S: ???

TUES: Yom Tov/Shmini Atzeret

B: milk, scones

L: KIDDUSH/HAMOTZI. Sausage rolls, borekas, dolmas, Chicken Kiev, festive millet couscous, salads, fruit & pastries.

D: KIDDUSH/HAMOTZI. Chicken fricassee, rice, Capri veg. Sorbet & cookies.

S: candies, etc.

WED: Yom Tov/Simchat Torah

B: yogurt, berries.

L: KIDDUSH/HAMOTZI. Stew, rice, green beans. Brownies, fruit

D: potluck

S: as if we need more snacks?

THURS:

B: smoothie, banana, bar or muffin.

L: salad, fruit, pudding

D: Vegetable soup, grilled cheese.

S: popcorn

FRI:

B: oatmeal, applesauce

L: cheese, apple, cookies, milk

S: popcorn, bar

D: KIDDUSH/HAMOTZI. Chicken Soup & Dumplings, green salad. Roast chicken. Chocolate Cake, Fruit.

SHAB:

B: milk, baked something…

L: KIDDUSH/HAMOTZI. Chulent, Chicken, Salads. Jello w/crème.

S: Popcorn. Fruit, fruit, fruit…and chocolate. Mmm, chocolate.

D: potluck

Weekly Menu 10/12/08-10/18/08

As promised, here’s the weekly menu, including most of Sukkot. And as usual, time is way too short!

WEEKLY MENU

10/12/08-10/18/08

SUN:

B: cereal, milk

L: [potluck/leftovers]

D: garlic pasta w/cheese, broccoli

S: apple, chocolate, so delish.

MON: Erev Yom Tov Sukkot

B: smoothie, grits, orange

L: cheese, grapes, GF cookies

D: [MOM’S]

S: Pudding

TUES: Yom Tov Sukkot

B: milk, scones

L: KIDDUSH/HAMOTZI. Turkey, Stuffing, Yams, Gr. Beans. Apple Crisp, Crème?

D: KIDDUSH/HAMOTZI. Meat Balls, Mashed Potatoes, Peas, Salad. Brownies, Sorbet

S: popcorn, fruit, nuts?

WED: Yom Tov Sukkot

B: yogurt, berries.

L: KIDDUSH/HAMOTZI. Roast, Kasha Varnishkas, Gr. Salad. Spice Cake, Apples.

D: vegetable soup, cheese bread.

S: popcorn, fruit, sukkah treats.

THURS: Chol HaMoayd

B: smoothie, GF bar, piece of fruit

L: salad nicoise, orange

D: enchiladas, rice, slad, guacamole.

S: pudding

FRI: Chol Hamoayd

B: cereal, milk

L: smoothie, larabar, fruit?

S: popcorn

D: KIDDUSH/HAMOTZI. Lamb Roast, Noodles, Spinach salad. Pumpkin Fluff, crème.

SHAB:

B: yogurt, berries. Scones?

L: KIDDUSH/HAMOTZI. Chicken Tadiq, Gr, Bean Almandine. Sorbet & cookies.

S: popcorn, sukkah treats.

D: soup?

Food for Sukkot

Sukkot is a harvest festival, and many of the food reflect that. Stuffed fruits and vegetables, Bread and baked goods—especially those that feature fruit and/or nuts, such as pies, cakes and cookies—are popular, in addition to preserves, pickles and jams. Stews, casseroles and other one-pot dishes are popular because they are easily served in a sukkah, especially over the holidays. Fall produce is abundant during this time: squashes, beans, root vegetables, apples, pumpkins, quinces. The Seven Species of Israel are also in abundance: grapes, olives, pomegranates, dates, figs and grains. Honey and sweet spices are prominent. Dining al fresco is also dependant on the weather, but is the appropriate way of serving platters and trays of food during Sukkot. In some climates, grilling is gaining popularity for Sukkot.

Traditionally, stuffed foods are served on Simchat Torah, from European stuffed cabbage and kreplach, to the Middle-Eastern stuffed grape leaves and filled pancakes, cookies, turnovers and tarts. Round foods are also prominent, with many variations of meatballs and shaped rolls. Glazed nuts, seeds, dried fruit and candies are very popular for this holiday, also.

{I will be posting Sukkot menus soon.}

Foodie on a fast day~

The day after Rosh Hashana is one of the lesser-known fast days, Tzom Gedaliah. Tzom Gedaliah is a fast in remembrance of the assassination of Gedaliah ben Achikam, who had been appointed as governor of the remainder of Jews still living in Judea after the destruction of the first Temple. Most of the population had been driven into exile in Babylon, or had fled into different countries nearby. Under Gedaliah’s leadership, some of these exiles were able to return and continue the agriculture, although they were still under foreign rule. The rulers of a nearby nation wanted the total submission of the populace, however, and weren’t pleased with the tolerance given to these returnees. They hired a Jewish refugee to assassinate Gedaliah.  This plot was not kept a secret from Gedaliah, but he refused to believe the warnings, dismissing them as slander and even welcomed the assassin to his table and home. The murder of Gedaliah, and many of his guests, some of whom were officials from Babylon, resulted in the remaining population fearing a reprisal from the government and abandoning the land entirely.  It was the end of an age of prosperity dating back to David and Solomon, and the beginning of Jewish Diaspora. The assassination took place in the month of Tishrei [this month], and according to tradition was actually done on Rosh Hashana.

For Torah-observant Jews, fasting means a complete fast: no food OR drink for the proscribed amount of time [in this case, from dawn until after dark.] I have a Weight Watchers leader who contends that in America, no member in the meeting is actually starving. I define starving as not having access to food in addition to being hungry and thirsty, so while I admit that fortunately I live in a country that has grocery stores stocked with too much food [although I doubt the term 'food' for some of the products, to say the least...], I have been in situations of starvation. Keeping kosher and gluten-free–well, if you don’t plan ahead and carry food with you, or if you’re out of cash and can’t get food that will nourish your body & soul, then you’re starving. Yes, it is a matter of degree, and I point out to my WW leader that there are people in America who don’t have food available, and who do go to bed or work or school without it. But I can identify the feeling of not just physically feeling hungry, but the emotional feeling of deprivation that not having food and water can bring, even if it is fortunately very temporary, because I’ve felt it, either by circumstance [which I usually consider hunger more than starvation] or by fasting. When you haven’t had any nourishment at all for 26 hours, you understand how your mind can’t think of anything but a drink of water, how your body wants to process nutrients out of food, the desperation of finding something, anything, to feed yourself. You appreciate having it all the more and are far more compassionate helping others to have, if you’ve been through it yourself, in any little way.

Rosh Hashana is about more than food, but a lot of it is characterized by eating, and eating sweet things, at that. It’s easy to forget that Rosh Hashana is about the birth of the entire world, and about judgment: living, dying, and whether there was enough food harvested or not [more about that during Sukkot.] It’s a time to balance up, to see how life was lived the past year and the hopes and fears about the upcoming year. Dipping an apple into honey [or sugar, or agave nectar] is just a snack without the conviction behind it; an empty ritual. When we taste something, it should act like a sensory reminder of what our spirits need. Fasting tends to remind me of that; being a foodie, I need the perspective at times, to know that there’s more than physical nourishment required for my health.

Tzom Gedaliah recalls for me that by becoming so emeshed in politicsand current events, murder was commited against a person who had welcomed his assassin in to his home and table, a man couldn’t consider slandering his fellow citizen and had returned some hope to a people who had suffered horribly already, on the very day when we are contemplating all our actions and our mortality…It just spoils one’s appeitite, doesn’t it?

More importantly, shouldn’t it?